A Walk to Remember: Summer Spark Retreat

I had never been to Miss Millie’s Flower Farm and as I made the drive out under a big blue Prairie sky full of fluffy clouds, I readied myself for an afternoon of introspection and reflection at this mental health retreat. Upon arrival, Dr. Jacquie and Dr. Kate warmly guided me to a sweet little patio where we would spend the day. I took in the space’s little string lights, creeping ivy, and gardens beginning to teem with all kinds of flowers. I was instantly calmed and excited for what the day would bring.

Mindfulness Walk

Unlike the springtime retreat, this one was much smaller and more intimate. I loved the idea of spending dedicated time to connect with a small group of women. Really getting to dig in.

Dr. Jacquie let us know what was ahead for the day, starting with a mindfulness walk through the farm. I have to admit, my first thought was “a walk? I know it’s beautiful here, but let’s get to the real retreat stuff.” I quickly laughed it off though, knowing to trust Dr. Kate and Dr. Jacquie to take us through the rhythm of a day that would truly support us.

 It didn’t take me long to realize as we walked, that this would be the moment I’d keep coming back to in the days since.

Winding through a sun-dappled path strewn with feathery ferns, Dr. Jacquie encouraged us to use each sense, one at a time, to hone in on different aspects of our experience. For the last few minutes, we focused on those that called most to us.

I was immediately drawn to what was tangible – the wind against my flowy pants and linen shirt, the warmth of sunlight on my skin, the uneven ground, the tickling touch of grass. As someone who is gradually learning to live more in my body instead my head, this simple practice grounded me with a sense of contentment, gratitude, and confidence.

I was here and that was enough.

Abundance lives in us.

The walk set the perfect canvas for us to brush upon with discussions of abundance. How do we connect with joy, vitality, and play in our lives?

Dr. Kate helped us broaden our thoughts on abundance to the world around us too. Who does and doesn’t get to experience abundance? What elements of privilege and oppression impact the choices we have? The beauty of these empowering women’s retreats is how they take us from our own experience and lift our heads up to those around us, helping us to better connect with each other.

As it was summer solstice, we also tied these themes into phases of transition. We shared about the transitions we were each experiencing, whether it is work, family, identity, or all of the above. In these times, how does abundance feel in our bodies or what fears might we have around abundance?

I discovered that mine are likely rooted in fears of responsibility (if I have more, I’ll be expected to do more) and guilt (who am I to have more when others are struggling?). As a childfree woman, I feel the guilt of abundance of time acutely when I think about friends who are parenting little ones. This was absolutely enlightening to me and has opened up a new avenue of self-discovery.

With empathy, courage, and vulnerability, we listened to each other and held each other supportively in our reflections and realizations. Like the mindfulness walk, we didn’t try to change anything in the moment, we simply experienced it together. I love to distract myself when difficult emotions arise, so practicing this in community was humbling and soothing. Especially the part where we gave each other a compliment – how much easier it us for many of us to give them rather than receive them!

Finding Ease and Joy

In between the deeper discussions, we took time to nourish ourselves with a delicious lunch along with fresh haskap berries and brownies for dessert. We watched the chickens, gave a pat to gentle giant dog Wanda, and laughed at the antics of Louis, the farm pig. The muddy streaks on my clothes (courtesy of Louis) reminded me that the opportunity to recognize moments of abundance are always around us and animals are a powerful companion to help us see them.

As we came back to our seats for the final part of the day, we explored how our fears show up in our daily lives or produce limiting beliefs. Using visualizations, we unpacked our heavy and painful backpacks, imagining what our Abundant Lives could look and feel like instead.

My immediate image was light.

Sun streaming through the trees, glowing through the cracks until it brightens everything around me. The feeling of standing amidst the green and breathing in the fresh air: freedom because of rootedness. An image that is always available to me now that I’ve found it at this mental health retreat.

We finished the day building a morning alignment practice to bring us back to our Abundant Lives regularly. We used tools like a vision map of who we want to be and how we want to live with images representing our future dreams and healthy standards we want to hold ourselves to.

Practicing Alignment

Since the retreat, I’ve taken these little pieces I brainstormed into my daily dog walks. Sometimes I recreate the mindfulness walk we did, sometimes it’s only a breath or two while I let my Abundant Life images wash over me: books, fearless women dancing under a moon, animals, and flowers. Or I let elements from my “future me” vision become a mantra to my steps.

She is a writer and a creative soul.

She is connected to herself and others.

She loves deeply and is loved back.

She believes her voice is valuable and refuses to self-abandon it.

They’re little moments, but they have power. And so far, I’ve noticed small shifts. I feel a little lighter. A little more optimistic that I can build the future I envision. I believe I can nurture this spark into a flame.

And that’s more than enough.